I hear it already. "Wait does that say what I think it says?!" "I thought this was about being a mom?"
Well it is about motherhood but also about being a woman. Love is a HUGE part of motherhood! Sex, well maybe not so much about being a mom, but it is how you became one! There will be many posts about things like tatrums, favorite toys, how to deal with sick babies and how nervous we get when our kids start school but there are not many about how to be a mom and a lover at the same time.
WAIT! Okay, now here me out! I know some of you have your finger or cursor on the "x" already but just wait. If you are a mom of 1 or 8, most likely the days of sexy lingerie and candle lit baths with John Legend playing in the background, are pretty much over or like me, never really existed. Seriously! Our bodies are different and when the heck was the last time I wore my hair down AND it was clean? I hear you saying "I am so tired" or "I just don't have time anymore". Well let me just say it very bluntly, that is just not a good enough reason. It just isn't!
Now I am speaking mostly torwards married people but I know there are single
moms and dating moms reading this too. For the most part what I am saying can apply to any relationship.
Our men not only desire our affection, we NEED theirs. I don't care what you say, the feeling of your man hugging you tight and kissing your forehead just slows down the world for a split second. For a moment the crying fades, you don't smell like spit up, the laundry isn't there and the dishes are clean. For a few moments you can close your eyes and pretend to be a princess. If you haven't done that start now!
Some of you just puffed out a laugh like "you don't know my man". Well to that I say...well if that is your attitude about him maybe, he feels the same about you and you should both stop scrunching your little forheads and stomping your feet and just hug each other!
If this just really is not something you feel in your life maybe it is time to put down the laundry, put down the book, hang up the phone and climb into bed. I am serious! I mean climb into bed in the sense that you need to have time together. Time without babies or kids between you. Time without a phone infront of your face. Time where you can talk. Talk about anything. Talk about everything. Laugh together. Cry together. The key to a lasting relationship and happy children is taking time to grow together. I mean climbing into bed is also a great idea. That is always fun too!
Okay let's get real here. It is not as easy as it used to be. There is no truer statement. Making time and money for a date is hard. The thought of finding a babysitter can send any mom into a downward spiral or minor panic attack. Making time for sex is an even more complicated task it seems. All the stars must align, the weather must be perfect, we have to feel thin that day, he has to look sexy, the kids have to be in DEEEEP sleep, the lights have to be on, the lights have to be off, the refrigerator has to be clean...you get my point I am sure. All of that is still such a petty excuse to me. I mean for real? When did love and sex become so much about us? Is it not for the other person with the perk of being enjoyable for us? I say all of this too say that being a mom and a lover means we have to be a LOVER then a mother. We have to accept that our butts, as revolting as they might be to us, are still freaking hot to our men. Yes, they really are, even our deformed boobs look sexy. I know this is hard to believe but it is true. We have to throw off our shame, and sometimes our ugly sweatpants and say, "WHATEVER! You love me and I love you so lets get it on!" (I hear your laughter) We have to put in the effort and energy to go get ice cream, go for a walk, go to the gym, get dinner or just go outside and lay in the grass and talk about the stars. We have to slow ourselves down. We have to enjoy those sexy men!
Invest in your men and they will invest into you. We are just as responsible for romance as they are.
NOW GO!
The Honest Mom